Meta:Ask Sordahon!

Sordahon's helmet from Ask Sordahon.

Ask Sordahon! was a comedic promotional Q&A section of the Two Worlds II website. Fans would presumably be able to email Sordahon and get a comedic response. The earliest known date of availability is November 29, 2010. According to a GameFAQs post by Nicodimus on January 24, 2011, Ask Sordahon! had its own URL 'www.asksordahon.com', though there aren't any archived links to prove it.

Seek Guidance From Sordahon

Dreams of becoming a henchman? Don't know how to meet the right overlord? Unsure of your level of evil? Don't be afraid, ask Sordahon! Send Sordahon an email at asksordahon@southpeakgames.com to get your question answered by your favorite evil henchman. Just be sure not to ask about his mom. He does like to kill.

Need to catch up on Sordahon's Journey? Start from the beginning of Sordahon's epic Journey here.

The Hero

Hey, Sword-a-hand!

This is the hero -- you know, the guy that makes you look like a tool in Two Worlds II? Anyway, just wanted you to give Gandalfar a message from me, seeing as how you're his top stooge:

Tell him his outfit is totally 2008...and he could use a breath mint.

Ciao, - The Hero!

P.S. - Your girlfriend and I totally made out in the bathroom at Southpeak.

P.P.S. - Thanks for the crabs.

Ladyboy,

It's f**king Sordahon! Shall we tell everyone how you got the 'hero' gig? Yeah, after your little outburst in the board-room with those idiots from SuckPeak, I did some checking and let's just say I'm surprised at how much one man can swallow. Also, now I have a permission slip...ho, ho, ho.

- Sordahon

Ricky

Hi Sordahon,

My name's Ricky and I have a dilemma that I think only such a powerful killing machine can answer, so can you please take some time out from dismembering kittens and punching old women in the face to help me? My in-laws are meant to be coming round on Christmas but I hate them. My mother-in-law smells faintly of seafood and my father-in-law has two limps, which should be impossible but he manages it. I can't stand the idea of spending time with then when I could be riding around the streets on my new bike (which I assume I'm getting) high fiving passerbys (I live in a very friendly neighbourhood that respects shiny new modes of transport). What's the best way to stop them coming round?

Thanks, - Ricky

Ricky,

I see what you did there. Mayhap you'll be shouting "bandits!" when a Wyvern attack-eth. Verily funny. Antaloor is trying to get over its past, why can't you...eth?

Felicia

- Sordahon

Hi love I saw your profile today and love to contact you,I have something important to tell you. Here is my email,(xxxxxxx@yahoo.com) you can write to me direct with this address. Be confidence and hope to be good friend,i will be appreciate you if you can contact me straight to my email box. Have a nice day

- Felicia

Dearest Felicia,

I am Sordahon, second in command of the armies of Gandohar and possessor of a mighty rack. I'm very excited to hear what you have to tell me, but first let me talk to you about something very, very, very, very important. I'd like to let you know about a former leader of the Imperial Mining Company - Hugh Janus - who died in an unfortunate incident involving NO WITNESSES. The sword wounds and burnt flesh are usual in mining accidents as can be confirmed by my paid mining expert, Dr. Manly Bacon.

Mr. Janus had over 18.5 million Aura in his bank account at the time of his passing and sadly had no next of kin (none that survived anyway. That was a messy afternoon!). If I could use your name as next of kin, I can transfer the money to an offshore account and we can share the funds equally before you take a long, long vacation. All you need to do is send me your full name and address, telephone/fax number, and your bank account, where the money will be transferred to.

I look forward to hearing from you.

- Sordahon

Kyle

Sordahon,

Every time Christmas comes around I begin to fear for my children's well being. There's a man (EVERY YEAR!) who climbs down my chimney and into my home, eats my cookies, drinks my milk, and gives my children toys that possibly contain lead paint! Sordahon, is there any way you can help me stop this fiend? If there's anything you can do to help me, if there's even just tips you can lend to me, I would be most grateful. To show my gratitude, I will invite you to my home and throw a feast. Thereafter we shall gather and watch the movie Legend with Tom Cruise. That is, if you would prefer Willow. Please Sordahon, for my children.

- Kyle

Kyle,

Since you're a fan of role-playing games, I find it extremely unlikely that you convinced a woman to mate with you and produce offspring. It's about as likely as the story of somebody climbing down your chimney to deliver gifts, unless your entire story of eating cookies is some kind of euphemism for sexual deviance, in which case, I approve.

- Sordahon

Alijah

What with all the game delays and stuff, I had pretty much given up on buying Two worlds 2 all together, even though I absolutely loved the first one. I'm pretty sure its in my xbox right now, actually..

But then I saw that awesome music video! :D I'm so buying this now. Not even because I'm excited about the game necessarily, while I'm sure I'll love it, I just want to support a company that puts out that kind if content and doesn't take themselves too seriously.-caugh-bioware-caugh-

Anyway, thanks for the laughs, you guys.

Keep the Sordahon coming, alright? :)

- Alijah

Alijah,

You loved the first one, huh? Is this some kind of joke? I will kill you!

Also, don't disrespect Bioware. One time, at RPG camp, Dr. Gregory P. Zestychuck used his medical powers to revive Helmut after he went into a coma caused by unnecessarily long dialog chains in Wagon Rage or whatever it's called.

- Sordahon

Da Don

TNA impact 2011 that is what fans are asking for and if it is not going to happen why do wikipedia state this and I have emailed TNA shop and they said a game is being developed so why do you deny it on your facebook page. At least give fans a preview of the game like a hype promo.

- Da Don

Da Don,

Are you a member of the mafia? I hung out with those guys a few times; taught them a few things about dismemberment. There were some magic moments. I don't know what 'TNA Impact' is, so I can't address your well-constructed query. You sound pretty angry though and that could lead to an excellent career in evil. Call me, we'll do lunch.

- Sordahon

Rident the Destroyer

Sordahon,

I caught a Rogue and Sorceress trespassing in my castle and currently have them locked away in the dungeons. What would you suggest is the best and most evil way to dispose of them? Mace or Axe? Feed them to my Reapers?

If you like I could always send them over to yours for a bit of fun, but I have a feeling they are expecting some hero to be coming along to rescue them.

By the way i'm looking for some new brutes as the ones I have here are pathetic and cry at the sight of a rat, and you can only imagine how bad that is for my image. If you hear of any for hire in any villages give me a shout as the Groms are being difficult, unless of course you are willing to part with some of yours for some gold.

Better go, I think I hear some commotion downstairs.

- Rident the Destroyer

Rident,

You have too much time on your hands. Nerd.

- Sordahon

Jason

Hey Sordahon,

I was just wondering how many people you have killed over your career, what was the kill you remember most, and what made you choose this line of work?

your greatest fan, - Jason

Jason,

What made me choose this line of work? Big horns. The more kills you make, the bigger the horns you carry. You might have noticed that I sport quite the rack. Yeah, I like to kill.

- Sordahon

Liz

I'm wondering what are your thoughts behind the latest video of your journey. The musical style and direction it took was amazing and I hope that there are more like it in the future. Also, did you come up with the idea for it and what inspired it?

A loyal fan, - Liz

Liz,

Did we date? Your obvious passion for real music reminds me of a girl I picked up in the kitchens at Gandohar's place. We idolized Richard Marx, often attending concerts together (you and I, not Gandohar. He was into Huey Lewis and that just made me angry). Ah, the memories. I'd pick you up from your mom's place in my '82 IROC-Z (Motor Trend's Car of the Year, 1982) and we'd drive to his show. You'd go backstage and hang out with the band. You must have had a good time, because you'd always come back to me smiling if slightly sweaty and rosy-cheeked, as if you'd been exerting yourself. I guess it was just the excitement of being near to Marx. They'd never let me backstage for some reason.

- Sordahon

Ken (a.k.a. Voice of Sordahon) (for the Video Game) (really!)

Hello Sordahon,

As the privileged one that actually provided your voice for the game I share in your anguish to find a place in this crazy real world. Perhaps you could show me the way to happiness by telling me how I can reawaken not only myself but you too in the process! Or just get another acting gig for your great company!

Respectfully awaiting your response. - Ken (a.k.a. Voice of Sordahon) (for the Video Game) (really!)

Dear Ken,

Your in-game rendition of my normally powerful and fear-inducing voice is an insult to henchmen everywhere. You are David Prowse to my James Earl Jones. There can be only one Sordahon; Failure to respect this will result in a visit from Helmut, my loyal bodyguard. He may look small but he's very creative with his chopper. Also, "great company?" I think you have SouthPeak mistaken for someone else.

- Sordahon